Heavy Shoes. That’s what it feels like. These weeks leading up to radiation and ultimately the 4 1/2 weeks that she will actually do radiation is, each day, walking in heavy shoes. Radiation, chemotherapy, sickness and side affects are caked like thick mud on my heavy shoes. This is a path we must walk…she must walk.
The pro’s being an ideal outcome of…cured.
The con’s being dry eye for the rest of her life, halted bone growth, possible but unlikely brain injury.
My friends, walk a mile with me in these heavy shoes.
Remember when Lane was first born.
Remember she always loves to cuddle.
Remember a tantrum could be stopped with just a hug.
Remember she’s always had a built in best friend.
Remember her first steps, her first laugh, her first words.
Remember when life was simple and endless adventure was our daily destination.
Remember every birthday and every person that loves her.
Remember all the times your heart twisted when she was hurt, all the teachable moments, all the things she loves and all the bad dreams she’s had.
Her life is etched on mine.
Now it’s finally here. Radiation.
She will be up early every day. She will have 5 day treatments for 4 1/2 weeks.
She will be sedated for ever single treatment. 23 days of sedation.
The day will begin with a 6 a.m. check-in and they will put her to sleep as I hold her.
When I think about this day a hot, sticky fear arises in me. Of all the things that she’s been through this is the hardest for me.
My stomach starts to churn when her body goes limp and the darts of helplessness steal my air.
Remember my girl Lord, Remember her.
Lord, help me to be strong. Be her rock through me.
After her 10 minutes or so of radiation she will be wheeled back to recovery.
Waking up from sedation is a marathon. She screams and cries. Her eyes are fuzzy and she’s discombobulated.
When she can eat and walk then we can go home…and do it all again every week day for 4 1/2 weeks.
Are your shoes getting heavy? Do you see my girl?
I ask you to please join me ,every day,
in exchanging our heavy shoes for wings.
Isaiah 40:31 But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary, and they shall walk and not faint.
As we prepare for this journey we ask you to think about supporting our family by purchasing a t-shirt.
We created these t-shirts for our family and friends that are praying for Lane and want to show their support. Theses t-shirts will be a visual encouragement and will financially help during her radiation treatments.
Please visit- http://www.booster.com/teamlaniebug if you wish to get involved.